Last night was a rough night. I felt sick, I guess from eating late and taking my medication late. Then I wasn't able to sleep in my own bed - I had to get up and go sleep on my couch. The moment I laid on the couch and turned over to get comfortable, I was out like a damn light. Weird, I know.
So back to my conversation with my therapist:
She thinks I need to get out more - find a hobby or a volunteer activity until I get a job. It sounds interesting and I may just do that. I told my mom about my "depressive episode" and she was like "Oh I knew something was going on." I guess she wanted me to figure it out on my own but I would've liked a little notice. Then I called to tell my grandfather (because he would've asked sooner or later) and when I told him that my therapist said I was in a "depressive episode" he said "Why are you depressed?" wth?! I don't need a reason to be depressed - I mean, hello...it's called DEPRESSIVE BIPOLAR DISORDER for a reason. Then he went on to saying that I was the happiest he's ever seen me when I was doing my internship at the attorney's office and that I needed to get out of the house and do something almost daily. My goodness, if I did that - I'd be completely BROKE. He said money is not the issue but he'd like for me to get something that will pay. But if I start going places during the day and being "social", he's going to complain that I am "running around" too much. I mean, most places to do volunteer work are in Gulfport and Biloxi and 2 days of driving there and back is almost a whole tank of gas. Doing that two or three times a week exhausts my weekly "allowance" and then I'd have to buy lunch and I still need to have time to hang out with the friends I do have. So if I ask him for more money, he's going to complain about that too!!! I just don't get him sometimes. I really don't like that he puts me in this position and he nags me.
So back to my conversation with my therapist:
She thinks I need to get out more - find a hobby or a volunteer activity until I get a job. It sounds interesting and I may just do that. I told my mom about my "depressive episode" and she was like "Oh I knew something was going on." I guess she wanted me to figure it out on my own but I would've liked a little notice. Then I called to tell my grandfather (because he would've asked sooner or later) and when I told him that my therapist said I was in a "depressive episode" he said "Why are you depressed?" wth?! I don't need a reason to be depressed - I mean, hello...it's called DEPRESSIVE BIPOLAR DISORDER for a reason. Then he went on to saying that I was the happiest he's ever seen me when I was doing my internship at the attorney's office and that I needed to get out of the house and do something almost daily. My goodness, if I did that - I'd be completely BROKE. He said money is not the issue but he'd like for me to get something that will pay. But if I start going places during the day and being "social", he's going to complain that I am "running around" too much. I mean, most places to do volunteer work are in Gulfport and Biloxi and 2 days of driving there and back is almost a whole tank of gas. Doing that two or three times a week exhausts my weekly "allowance" and then I'd have to buy lunch and I still need to have time to hang out with the friends I do have. So if I ask him for more money, he's going to complain about that too!!! I just don't get him sometimes. I really don't like that he puts me in this position and he nags me.
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