Someday I'll Fly Away...

Yesterday, my friend Liz posted some things on my Facebook profile that truly made my day.

Don't give up, okay? I know you've been hurt, I know how it feels. Believe me, I do. But the feeling will pass. The tears will stop falling. Your heart will heal itself. I promise you it will, so hold on. Don't let go, don't lose hope because I promise you will find someone who will treat you right, the way he never did. Someone who will never leave you, the way he did. He'll be worth the wait, so hang in there because I love you and I want you to be happy.

You know what you want, you're just afraid to admit it because you're afraid of failing. Screw that. You know what you want, which is a hell of a lot more than most other people. So don't be afraid or ashamed. Just go on and get it.

Don't be sad. I mean, you can't help what happened. You can't help that it wasn't meant to be. You can't control his feelings, no matter how much you wish you could. I'd like to tell you that he'll come back for you and regret what he lost.. but that doesn't always happen. Be realistic, but be happy too. Just remember, that he left you so you could be with someone better.. he just doesn't know it :)

If someone breaks your heart, just punch them in the face. Oh sure, it seems obvious now, but you’d be amazed at how many people don’t think of it when it’s relevant. Seriously, just punch them in the face and go get some ice cream.

I am honestly blessed to have such amazing friends like Liz. She and I didn't meet under the best circumstances, but we've gotten through a few things together and I am glad to have her support with the things that I do.

I am getting over my bronchitis that I was diagnosed with last week. It doesn't hurt to breathe anymore but I am still sleeping on the couch. It seems like whenever I am sick, I sleep the best on my couch. I don't know why, but oh well. I am glad I have an amazingly comfortable couch.

I am finding more determination every day. My heart is starting to heal, I think. Last night I was having a lots of doubts. I was doubting myself and certain things in my life. I talked to a few friends about my fears and doubts, and they just really became amazing about it. They know that I am not perfect. They know that I am learning more about myself every day...especially since all of this stuff with him happened. I am beginning to figure out that I am stronger than I thought I was. I am handling things better now than I would have a few years ago...damn, even year before last. Thank goodness for my medication.

I have therapy this morning. A LOT has happened since my last therapy session. I mean, real therapy session. I think I should have double booked back to back sessions, but I didn't...so I hope I don't shove too much in a short time period because today I have a lot to talk about. A lot of things I haven't talked about with her before and some things I have shared with her.

I don't trust people because I am afraid of being judged. I have been in therapy since I was 13, I think (or maybe younger) and I haven't trusted a lot of my therapists - I have had 4 in total. Since I haven't trusted a lot of them, I haven't opened up to them. I just tell them what they want to hear so they will just leave me alone. But I am starting to trust the therapist I have now. She doesn't seem to judge me. I've been seeing her for almost 2 years and I have been opening up more to her than I have ever opened up to any of the other ones. She is about to learn a lot about me that a lot of people have never known and may not ever know.