I do not understand WHY someone cannot accept me how I am. He doesn't see how happy I am. I love my life right now. I have the most amazing boyfriend and my relationship with my mother is becoming better. Yes, I'm not doing my best in school but at least I am in school. I have friends that mean the world to me and even though my life is crazy, it is amazing.
I am not a guinea pig for over the counter or prescription diet medication. I am a human being!
A certain person in my life (if you know me, you'll know exactly who I am talking about) cannot accept that I am 22 years-old, 5'6" and 250 pounds. Big fucking deal - I know people older and younger than me who are shorter and taller than me and who are bigger and smaller than me! Life is ALWAYS going to be that way and I cannot beat myself up every single time I fucking gain weight. I will gain and lose weight my ENTIRE life...
Here is kind of how the whole fiasco happened - I went to his house to visit and I got asked about school. I should've known that it was going to start trouble, because it always does. Then I got asked about my boyfriend and some of his business - which I told him basics because the dirty details are none of his concern. In that conversation, I was shamed for leaving my mother alone so much. For his information, my mother is perfectly capable of taking care of herself. Well, after that bit of the conversation, I got the real reason why he was asking all the questions - I got asked about my weight. He always does this! He starts asking questions about my life - most of the questions are none of his damn business - then he comes in with criticism. He made a remark that whatever I have been doing for the past several months wasn't working anymore and that he thought I was gaining weight. You NEVER say this to someone who is insecure about their weight to begin with. Well that made me set my jaw so I wouldn't start crying. Then he started asking questions - the whole "why" shit - and told me that he wanted me to be thin so I could be happy and have a good life - ermm, excuse me...I am happy. I have a good life! - then that made me break down into tears and I told him I didn't know why it wasn't working and I didn't want to be what he wants me to be - which is "perfect". I went on to tell him that I didn't need him reminding me of my weight because I am reminded of it every single damn day. He came over to "console" me and told me that he'd be happy if I were the way I am for the rest of my life. What a fucking hypocrite! That made me cry harder. He told me I needed to pray to Jesus about my problem.
WHAT THE FUCK?! Like praying to Jesus about my weight is going to magically make it melt off. BAH! If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans.
I am not a guinea pig for over the counter or prescription diet medication. I am a human being!
A certain person in my life (if you know me, you'll know exactly who I am talking about) cannot accept that I am 22 years-old, 5'6" and 250 pounds. Big fucking deal - I know people older and younger than me who are shorter and taller than me and who are bigger and smaller than me! Life is ALWAYS going to be that way and I cannot beat myself up every single time I fucking gain weight. I will gain and lose weight my ENTIRE life...
Here is kind of how the whole fiasco happened - I went to his house to visit and I got asked about school. I should've known that it was going to start trouble, because it always does. Then I got asked about my boyfriend and some of his business - which I told him basics because the dirty details are none of his concern. In that conversation, I was shamed for leaving my mother alone so much. For his information, my mother is perfectly capable of taking care of herself. Well, after that bit of the conversation, I got the real reason why he was asking all the questions - I got asked about my weight. He always does this! He starts asking questions about my life - most of the questions are none of his damn business - then he comes in with criticism. He made a remark that whatever I have been doing for the past several months wasn't working anymore and that he thought I was gaining weight. You NEVER say this to someone who is insecure about their weight to begin with. Well that made me set my jaw so I wouldn't start crying. Then he started asking questions - the whole "why" shit - and told me that he wanted me to be thin so I could be happy and have a good life - ermm, excuse me...I am happy. I have a good life! - then that made me break down into tears and I told him I didn't know why it wasn't working and I didn't want to be what he wants me to be - which is "perfect". I went on to tell him that I didn't need him reminding me of my weight because I am reminded of it every single damn day. He came over to "console" me and told me that he'd be happy if I were the way I am for the rest of my life. What a fucking hypocrite! That made me cry harder. He told me I needed to pray to Jesus about my problem.
WHAT THE FUCK?! Like praying to Jesus about my weight is going to magically make it melt off. BAH! If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans.
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